About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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