some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
