My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize