We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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