He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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