Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
