One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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