i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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