At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
They have beer where we have blood.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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