Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
