What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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