I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize