I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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