you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize