lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
