'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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