I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
