yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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