I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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