I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
