Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize