hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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