peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
