I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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