I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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