I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
