he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
