you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
