My room smells like vodka and shame
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
