God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
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pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
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He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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