ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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