Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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