I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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