There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
