Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
