Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
