My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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