I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
