oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize