I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
