i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
