worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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