I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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