She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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