Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
