my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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