highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
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