I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
