"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
