Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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