eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I am one with the molecules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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