Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.