yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.