Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.