OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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