I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
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