just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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