dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
