My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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