i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
