Kareoke will never be a sober sport
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Randomize
